How I Turned My Ex’s Apartment Envy into a Kilimani Kingdom
Love story, or should I say, a real estate fairy tale with a twist of lemon and a sprinkle of karma? Buckle up, folks!
A while back, I had this fiancé who was the jam to my bread, the peanut to my butter. We were living the high life in a shoebox – I mean, a bedsitter in Kasarani. Rent? A whopping 3,500 bob! Talk about luxury, right?
Picture this: a room so small, you could cook your ugali while showering and still watch TV. Multi-tasking at its finest! Our cooking stick played hide and seek, sliding from kitchen to bathroom. The soap? It had wanderlust, always trying to escape under the bed. Our sitting room was a transformer – armrest by day, bed by night. And that suitcase? Part-time footrest, full-time interior decor.
But hey, love conquers all, even square footage! We were happier than a Nairobi matatu during rush hour.
Then, boom! My bae landed a UN job. Suddenly, he was too posh for our humble abode. He upgraded to Kilimani faster than you can say “gentrification.” Me? I became yesterday’s news, like last week’s newspaper wrapping today’s githeri. Our Lecturer Prof Steve of The W.K. University says “ Dust will always be “K“ meaning constant.
Fast forward, I did my own glow-up. ‘Nilioga nikarudi soko’ – I bathed and returned to the market, ladies and gentlemen! Ran into Mr. Ex at a fancy hotel, looking sharp as a Maasai warrior’s spear. He was shaking! His ‘former mpoa’ was now serving CEO realness.
Plot twist: Ex wanted to sell his apartment. Me? I was ready to invest, thanks to my Airbnb hustle. But hold up! I wasn’t about to be that clingy ex. ‘Ukirudi soko kaa huko, hakuna kurudi kwa shamba’ – once you move on, stay moved, honey!
Enter Denis from Prime Homes, my real estate guardian angel. This guy calculated ROIs faster than a Nairobi boda boda weaving through traffic. Before I knew it, I was the proud owner of not one, but TWO Kilimani apartments.
From bedsitter to Kilimani? That’s what I call a level-up, folks! And it’s all thanks to my new ‘fiancé’ – Prime Homes. Who needs a man when you’ve got a good realtor?
Ready to write your own rags-to-riches real estate saga? Don’t wait for your ‘ipo siku’ – seize the day! Slide into Prime Homes’ DMs (or visit www.primehomes.co.ke) and turn your property dreams into reality. Remember, in Nairobi’s real estate game, you snooze, you lose!
